Evolution for Kids

My 5 year old daughter asked me if we came from monkeys? I said yes being a evolutionist (is that the right term? who knows anymore). I believe we came from monkeys or even farther back from the dust of stars. But I digress. She had it figured out before she even talked to me, once I told her yes, we do come from monkeys, she followed up with “From monkeys, to cavemen, to us! Right Daddy?” I agreed and stated it was a little more complicated than that and tried to fill her in on Neanderthals, Homo Erectus (heehee, I still giggle everytime I say that). But I soon realized that my knowledge of the subject was pretty elementary and that if I was to educate my daughter I would have to delve deeper. I listened to some podcasts, did some quick research on the web (Okay I just went to wikipedia, I got a life you know). What I started reading not only troubled me but got me more confused than I thought my daughter was, her theory was starting to look pretty good – Monkey, Caveman, Me. There were red herrings such as the Piltdown man who was a hoax made of an orangutang’s jaw, a canine’s tooth and a mix of ape and human skeleton parts. This was supposed to be the missing link everyone is looking for but sadly wasn’t. And with a incomplete fossil record for our ape history I was starting to feel like I would never fully explain this to my little girl.

The more I thought about it I realized that the change would be so gradual that this missing link could be one of a million skeletons, we just haven’t found them yet. You see the more I thought of evolution the more discouraged with humanity I got. As per our genes don’t we go looking for the most attractive mate, so we can pass on our genes and make the human race stronger. If that is the case why is the planet still crawling with a sticky mess of ugly people. Shouldn’t we all be 7 feet tall, ripped and violently good looking. Instead we have evolved maybe a few feet taller in the last 10,000 years and our foreheads have gotten smaller. Woopty freakin do, oh yah and we got smarter, actually our big clubs (tools) have just gotten more complex, thats all. We still act on ME HUNGRY! ME SLEEPY! ME HORNY! So I think I’ll stick with “Monkey, Caveman, Me” hypothesis. And don’t even talk to me about intelligent design, if everything was made for a reason then what is the sea cucumber for? The big guy must have been out of it on that day. I guess if I could change water to wine I wouldn’t get a lot done either. I do believe in a higher power though, I just think god got the ball rolling and let things take care of themselves, except for the sea cucumber, that one was a major dissapointment.


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