Board vs. Bored
Hollywood is grasping at straws, the most recent remix now is board games. Yah you heard me right. They are now optioning board game movie rights from Hasbro. The latest is Battleship, when I first saw the poster I was thinking “You gotta be kidding me” I thought it was going to be a whole movie of B4…miss…C6…miss…D2…you sunk my battleship! Not my idea of a night out. Anyway I saw the trailer and it looks not bad but really has nothing to do with Battleship the game, except that there is battleships in it. You could have called it anything else but some guy who has connections at Hasbro made a deal…whatever, I don’t get it. The other games that they optioned were Monopoly, Candy Land, Clue, Ouija, Magic: The Gathering, and Stretch Armstrong. Clue had been done before but not so well. They decided not to make this one. I think they dropped Magic: The Gathering too. Which doesn’t make sense, Clue would be a good murder mystery if done right and Magic: The Gathering has a plethora of characters just begging to be exploited. Stretch Armstrong I think would be a stretch, Bah Dum Bum, literally and creatively (they have Taylor Lautner set to play Stretch) . Reminds me of Curious George, some things just don’t translate to the big screen. Ouija is one I would go see, I’ve had some pretty spooky incidents myself with that game, portal, supernatural chatroom interface…whatever you want to call it. Candy Land I never played, so I have no opinion. And finally Monopoly…what the hell, what could you possibly do for this one? Some slumlord kicking people out of their properties cause they can’t pay rent, hocking mortgages to pay the bills, yah that will fly in this economy. Ridley Scott’s Scott Free is developing Monopoly for the big-screen, I still don’t get it. I guess you could say there has been Hasbro franchises in the past such as Transformers and G.I. Joe that have been successfully adapted to the big screen but board games?!?
Also coming down the pipe you may have seen a bunch of remakes. Total Recall, Dirty Dancing, Footloose. These are just a few. I’m sure some executive is coming up with an idea to remake Garbage Pail Kids or Cool as Ice…but I want no part of it. Unless they pay me 1oo large to pen the script, then I’m in. I’m such a whore :(.
Needless to say they are going to keep making these movies whether we like it or not and the only way we can stop the madness is by voting with our wallets. But even I got dragged to the Smurfs recently by my 6 year old daughter, it was a big pile of Smurf, but my little girl loved it and just like that I hear they are making Smurfs 2, Doh!!!!