Flying on my Internet Jet
What is the internet for other than to kill time? Of all my internet shenanigans, the lion share is wasting time. Pure what-the-fuck style procrastination. So in honour of this behemoth of an entity we call the inter webs I bring to you my fears and loves, my laughs and cries, my ones and zeros.
Porn. Yes this is the big one, everyone looks at it, and even if you don’t…well, you’re lying (maybe not for my female readers, although there are some freaks out there. You know who you are). Yes in the beginning it was like jumping into a pool of non-stop naked bodies and fetishes and it kind of jades you a little bit. You could look, show your friends, bookmark whatever you wanted. But that was all pre-kid. As soon as you have a kid that is all out the window. She knows the computer better than I do and all I need is for her to stumble onto that bookmark. No thank you. So how about at work. Uh-uh, no way. One it’s just creepy, wrong in so many ways, like kissing your cousin in the sloppy way, not the peck on the cheek way. Yah some people think it’s okay but 99% of us call that incest. So no porn at work. The reason I have this fear is because I think that the internet provider or the tech guy or someone is keeping track of my key strokes (no pun intended) or bookmarks or web viewing habits and they will publish this one day on my wifes Facebook account shaming my family and friends. I know I’m paranoid but it’s not worth the risk dude. On the internet your only 3 clicks away from porn anyway, I call it my “3 degrees of fornication.” So I have gone from my hardcore porn hipster web browsing to my accidental soft core porn clicks, I still giggle when I see boobies on the internet though. Too much fun.
This brings me to my second past time on the world wide web. Wading through media, this one gets a little disjointed. Let me try to explain. People call is surfing, I call it fishing. You just drop your line into the water and you see what comes up. You can do it that way but it takes a little more time, but it is specific. I like to go to sites that do it for you. Some of the greatest sites I found for this are:
ffffound: this is a site that people contribute all kinds of stuff to (designers like me and other creative types). Kind of like a dump for cool imagery, links, gifs, etc. To contribute you need to be a member. Why is it that as soon as anyone says you can’t join it drives you crazy. ffffound…let me in, I am worthy. Grrrrr.
Sly Apartment: This is another designer site with imagery and news that just went through a redesign. It has a section called Daily Dose that is similar to ffffound. I have mentioned this site before in my blog but they are just so damn awesome.
Tumblr: OMFG, I could spend a week on this site, no bathroom breaks or nothing, just peeing in my pants wasting away to nothing. I might have a tumblr problem. Again a collection of just stuff, very simple yet addicting. Search what you want. Just check it out, you’ll be glad you did. This has probably been around forever and I probably sound like, “Hey have you heard of these new mp3’s there rad.” Anyway don’t judge me, I’m old and lazy and like running water I take the path of least resistance.
The second part, of the second part of having to deal with media, is watching television that I missed on the actual tv. Either my DVR screwed up or it was a skit I missed on Saturday Night Live that all my friends say I have to see. Let me ask you something though, why are the web and TV still separate, doesn’t it make sense that they become the same thing? I watch a lot of my TV on the internet and isn’t there networking things that could work on TV, like post show chats, clickable products in the show. I like Donald Drapers tie, click on it and buy it, everything is for sale on the show, that’s the new money model.(I stole that idea from Chris Hardwick, and um Andy Samberg-Nerdist podcast #79).
And thirdly and finally, work. Email, dropbox, FTP, Nuff said.
One thing I find though is if I am without a wi-fi connection I am utterly and miserably lost. Thank good for cell networks, I wouldn’t be able to find out when season six of Weeds was coming out.
So what do you use the internet for? I probably missed a bunch of stuff I use the internet for but I don’t care, cause I have another window open and am already looking at ffffound for…um…ahh…wha…gotta go.