The Trouble with Hipsters
Hipsters. What are they? Emo’s with a spine? Outsiders? Individualists bent on not conforming to anything main stream? Who knows? Like any contemporary subculture there are many niches and you can’t put your finger on exactly what they are, but they do have a overall look and attitude. Hipsters like to judge, they will let you know what is cool and what is not, whether you ask them to or not. They seem to have a compulsive need to let you know the hierarchy of music, film, art whatever it is you are talking to them about. It gets worse when you get them in groups, they will bounce around the nuances of what made Nirvana great, for example, bouncing it back and forth between them like some weird particle accelarator until the subject of conversation is lost, then they move onto where to get the best Chai tea in the city.
Then there is the uniform. Tight pants, that usually don’t fit well, you ever see a hipster with a nice ass? Good luck. There is the tshirts, usually something ironic, but the best is a tshirt that has something on it that no one gets, the joke is so inside that only they get it, which puts them on the top of the cool totem pole (Interesting side note: The bottom of the totem pole was the most important animal, usually the chiefs, because you could see the artisans work close up). Then there is the accessories, scarves, toques (honestly, who wears a toque inside) thick black rimmed glasses and old school sneakers. The hairdo is the same for men and women hipsters, shaggy and androgynous. It is an urban bohemian look that you can spot a mile away.
Don’t let the uniform fool you. These Hipsters are smart and they are usually intellectuals with at least some sort of degree or post secondary education. They are also very forward thinking and racially open minded. Hipsters will avoid being mainstream more I think to prove a point. If any Hipster ever admitted to liking the sitcom Friends, and not ironically, they would probably implode. Another thing that bugs me is wearing certain pieces of clothing or going to certain shows, movies or whatever, ironically, this means they don’t really like it, they are just going to make fun of it. Cultural slumming if you will. This makes no sense to me, if I don’t like something, why would I waste my time sitting through it or wearing it?
Anyway, I can poke fun a this interesting subculture because I used to be a hipster, not the glasses, but the hair, the clothes and the attitude. I had to hand back in my membership card cause there is nothing sadder than an aging hipster, trust me. Plus being ironic, shitting on anything to make yourself look cool is just a bad move. I love watching a hipster back peddle when he has shit on something and the Alpha hipster or the group calls him on it. Or even better they meet the celebrity they were disrespecting and they gush like a little girl. One of my favourite spectator sports.
So all of you hipsters, relax, you are the pinnacle of cool, the essence of non-conformists (Henry David Thoureau would be proud), just don’t get in my face about it. I just have one question, what happens when people like what you like? Are you not cool anymore? Do you move onto the next obscure band or director? Eventually mainstream is going to catch up and roll over you like a wave, bad taste and all. Don’t look back, ride that crest of cool and keep ’em guessing. Scarves become mainstream, you start wearing bowler hats, bowler hats become popular, how about trying leg warmers on your arms. There are thousands of possibilities. Good luck, oh, and by the way, I wrote this blog ironically.