A Thousand Channels and Nothing’s on…

Bullshit! Everything is on! Just take a look at today’s television shows, it is a vast landscape, filled with everything from documentaries, mockumentaries, dog shows and blog shows, great big awards shows and itty bitty two person talk shows. Shows that help you live a healthy lifestyle and ones that show you sick people living in their own filth, freak shows and geeks shows, sports and shorts, mini-series and web-series, any type of game show to damned if I know. The list is endless and if you can’t find anything on, unplug yourself from the grid, buy yourself a goat and live in a shack in the woods, cause it’s not gonna get any better…just more channels.

Television is the new religion, the Aztecs used to sacrifice people to their gods, but murder is no longer condoned in our modern society, so we sacrifice a crap load of our time to the flat screen alter. It is a regular part of my wife and I’s day. A chunk of time is devoted to worshiping our story arcs, cooking competitions, music based shows and whatever we think is cool at the moment.

I feel this is the golden age of television. The selection has never been so good and the writing is great. With the line between television and movies blurring we start to see some of the talent from movies making appearances on the networks and inversely we see movies being made out of television shows.

Another thing I noticed is the number of screens surrounding us. Next time you’re at bar take a look around. There are screens everywhere. The last bar I was at had thirteen screens in it and this was not a big place. Whether it is a television screen, a tablet screen, a smart phone screen, a computer screen, it doesn’t make a difference, we gravitate towards them all.

The problem isn’t that there is nothing on, the problem is that we have too much selection, it has turned us into listing snobs, programming elitists. I remember when I was a young lad, we only had three channels and we used to have to watch in the snow, three miles either way, barefoot…wait, I think I’m getting my histories mixed up. But seriously we only had three channels and you had to get up to change the channel and to make it worse, one of those channels was fuzzy. You would watch stuff just cause it was on, you didn’t even have to like it. Now you don’t even have to be there when your show is on, just program the box to record it for you and watch it when you want. Even if you forget to record it, someone else probably did and put it on the internet, then you can wirelessly share it with your friends and watch it on any screen you own. How can you think there is nothing on. Everything is on, everywhere, just take a closer look. Gotta go put in my time, the television gods are getting angry!

7 Comments

  1. I preferred it when it was 5 channels (UK) that was the perfect amount of choice. However after “unplugging” myself from television (I haven’t had a TV running channels in my house since June) life has become way better. I socialise more, I’ve picked up new hobbies and skills, and I watch exactly what interests me on netflix/lovefilm and i dont get stuck mindlessly watching something that is actually boring me, but it is still using up my time.
    I think TVs golden age has been and gone, It is the internet that is in the golden age now

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    • Blondzombie says:

      Good points, only thing is Netflix in Canada kinda sucks right now, not the biggest selection. But your right no tv is probably better for my social life. Cheers and thanks for reading!

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      • I agree that choice is limited, but it is a new idea, it will take a lot of investment and time to get the same choice up and running on the site as you’d expect in the DVD store, and these websites will be cautious until they know it will encourage enough people to join, which is why they both are running a free month trial. It really is, I started this and I’m learning how to play the guitar…hardly go near the xbox or tv anymore

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      • Blondzombie says:

        Yah it’s interesting all of the blockbusters across Canada closed down. Don’t get me wrong even though the selection is limited I still like Netflix, also my AppleTV. What is lovefilm by the way?

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      • Yeah its the future, its too convenient and very good value, LOVEFILM is essentially the UK version of netflix but it doesn’t serve the US

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  2. yearstricken says:

    I love your take on “there’s nothing to watch on TV.” We don’t have cable because we are cheap, which is the new green, so, yeah, we are very green. We don’t really watch much TV, but I do watch some shows on Hulu for free. We keep talking about getting Netflix, but I don’t know if I can give it the time it deserves. 🙂

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  1. […] You see with PVR (DVR, Tivo, whatever you call it) you can dole out your shows in little bite size chunks whenever you want, you don’t have to bow to the networks schedule. We are like rats hitting the button that spits out a food pellet, just hit play, just hit play. But the treats are so tasty. I know I talk a lot about TV, but I watch a lot of TV. See another Blond Zombie television rant here. […]

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