Bite Watch Chew

Strange title, I know, but this is how I watch television. I find it (bite) watch it (watch, duh) then think about it (chew) until the series comes on again next week, same bat time, same bat channel. While I don’t mind thinking and talking about a great show for a week, it kind of irks me. Why should we have to wait, and why is it a week, why can’t we have episodes every three days? Two days? Everyday!? It doesn’t make sense.

I will have someone tell me about a new show, or old one, that I should watch. I then hunt it down and the best case scenario is that it is on DVD, AppleTV, the internet and I will consume it en masse. My wife and I will sit down and watch an episode, then another, then another until it is 3am and we have to peel our eyes from the television. Unless one of us hits the play button quickly, like pulling off a bandaid, then you’re committed for another 40 minutes. That’s another benefit of consuming a series all at once, no commercials, you don’t forget anything that is going on, and it is like a gargantuan movie with intermissions for snacks and bathroom breaks.

My wife and I have watch many shows like this: True Blood, Californication, Weeds, Breaking Bad…the list goes on. But inevitably you burn through all of your DVDs or downloaded shows and you hit the present timeline. It’s like barreling home in your car making great time and you hit a traffic jam, there you are, stuck in the episodic television juggernaut with all of the other suckers. Boo.

So from now on I will hold off on watching something until I have a good lead time built up, let’s say 3 seasons? Does that sound reasonable? But Game of Thrones looks sooooo good and I’ve already started Doctor Who (just finished the first season) so I have to keep going on that one else I’ll forget everything. My appetite for entertainment is strong and if television was food I would be the guy who looks like Jabba the Hutt that they have to tear down a wall to get him out of his house. My arteries are clogged with story arcs and plot points and I need to go on a TV diet. Reality shows would probably be the first to go. I’ll keep my dramas and my comedies and I’m good.

You see with PVR (DVR, Tivo, whatever you call it) you can dole out your shows in little bite size chunks whenever you want, you don’t have to bow to the networks schedule. We are like rats hitting the button that spits out a food pellet, just hit play, just hit play. But the treats are so tasty. I know I talk a lot about TV, but I watch a lot of TV. See another Blond Zombie television rant here.

I am trying to be more selective but it is hard to pull away once you’re invested and with me that only takes 5 minutes, of any episode, of any show. I’m still worried about Sponge Bob and Patricks relationship story arc in Season 4, it’s just starting to get good. Until then keep you hand on the remote and your eyes on the screen or peel yourself off the couch and get a life, it’s up to you.


  1. yearstricken says:

    A while back, Hulu was a lot less stingy and had a lot more shows and series. I have been through all of Alfred Hitchcock’s shows – not in one sitting, but once I start a series, I become serious about watching all of the episodes as fast as I can. It’s a sickness, really.


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