Does God Hate Dogs and Other Such Drivel

Life is full of enigmas, but really though, does god hate dogs? He makes chocolate one of the best tasting things on the planet and then makes it poison to mans best friend. If I was a dog that would piss me off a little. “Make radishes poison to me, Brussels sprouts…”, the dog would say licking itself, “…not delicious chocolate.” You see these are the things I think about day in and day out. Not how to solve the worlds problems or what to do about my retirement, but about my anxiety as to why god would alienate the canine species.

There are other weird things that pop into my head too, like when swimming if you want to go deep underwater, you fill your lungs with air, you can hold your breath longer, but you float, but if you empty your lungs you sink like a stone. Is this the big guys way of saying, try and figure that one out yah hairless apes. We then create these technological marvels that will take us to the bottom of the ocean but we are seeing it on video and through 6 inches of plexiglass, not really experiencing it first hand are we.

From the grass is always greener (it’s the same over there too), to good things come to those who wait (maybe, but how long do you wait?), to people who say they are stuck in traffic (they are traffic!) Some of these things don’t make sense and maybe they aren’t supposed to. Maybe that is what it is all about, everything will always be cryptic so you can’t figure it all out. We are a messy species, we love, we hate and everything in between is nothing more than survival and silliness. The important thing is to not think too much about chocolate and dogs, because you’ll go crazy. Maybe there is a universal rune stone that will figure everything out, we just haven’t found it yet.

I’ve made my point about dogs and god, now here is the “other such drivel” portion of my blog. Just a few things that confuse and fascinate me on a daily basis. Some you’ve heard before, some you haven’t, but all of them make you go…huh?

Why do people have no problem downloading all of their entertainment (music and movies) but if you asked them to steal something from the mall they would look at you with contempt and say “Dude, stealing is wrong.” 

If 7-11 is open 7 days a week, 365 days a year, why do they have locks on the doors.

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

What’s another word for thesaurus– Steven Wright

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

I’ve told you a million times not to exaggerate– Everybody’s Mother

There you go, a little food for thought, some questions and quotes to keep the grey matter churning and to make us feel a little more lost in this great big universe of ours, if you figure it all out, let me know. But in the meantime eat some chocolate, enjoy it, and thank the almighty that you’re not a dog.

2 Comments

  1. Can dogs eat white chocolate? It’s not really chocolate after all…

    Like

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