Journeyless

You remember when you were a kid? You wanted something so bad you went on an epic trek to find it. It may have been the Darth Vader Head that you could store your action figures in. Or the one my little pony you didn’t have in your collection. Anyway, you would ride your bike across town, dodging sketchy vagrants, having arguments with store owners, and then trying to figure out how to get that Nintendo 64 back home on your bike. I remember going on many of these journeys. These days I find people don’t go anywhere, for anything. They sit at their computers and click the buy now button in their underwear. Not a very exciting story to tell at a dinner party. “John, where did you get that moose head?” “Well Jim, I typed moose head into google found the one I wanted, clicked the buy now button and it showed up at my door a week later.” “Just riveting John, simply riveting.” What a travesty, I miss the stories where they would drive for three days, check out sixteen different stores, get a flat tire half way to the last shop, in the rain, and then have their credit card declined when they finally found it only to find twenty dollars on the way back to the car, serendipity. Now that is a story.

Shopping may seem like a women’s thing to most men, but I liken it to a form of hunting. If you are a hunter you would never go online, click on a nice Buck and have it delivered to your house. It just wouldn’t be cool. Usually when I shop it is impulse, my wife hates shopping with me, I’m like a hitman. In and out. Boom and done. Grab the kid we’re out of here. On the flip side my wife will doddle, look at the same five shoes eight times and I’m standing there rolling my eyes and tapping my foot the whole time, it drives her crazy. I should be more patient, I should make it more like a safari, while she is doing her thing I should make it my mission to either shop for something for myself or mess with the minimum wage help. I could ask for ten pairs of shoes and when I get them, try them on my hands and say I’m going for the walking on your hands world record. I could hide in the clothes racks and whisper to people that walk by “Don’t tell my wife I’m here” or “Those pants do make your ass look fat”. Make it fun. Just like the journey for that special item, make a day of it, make it a google free day. Spend some time without technology and reconnect with people instead. You just might have a great story to tell at the end of it all. Happy hunting!

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